Stop Following Your Heart, Start Using Your Head!

Apparently it’s relationship week here at Rechabite.com. All my posts have, thus far, revolved around girls and relationships. So much for sounding the hypocrite, since I’ve had only a few relationships and not for awhile.

But I don’t limit myself to personal experience (as well never write about staying away from Herpes because of never having Herpes). I write what I see, and I can only hope that what I see and how I piece those fragmented moments for you the reader makes sense, makes you think, and helps you improve how you see the world, whether by agreeing, or disagreeing, with the points of my posts. Should you emerge on the other side completely disagreeing with my point, I will be satisfied, because you will have considered for yourself a little more than you did the few minutes before choosing to read.

As for tonight’s post, I venture that the mind and heart are two very valuable entities when it comes to making decisions, and both must well consider their own specialties as best as each can when it comes to making greater decisions. However, I do believe that following your heart is, in most ways, a bad course, as the heart is fickle, prone to quick changes, sensitive beyond logic, and often makes decisions based on the here-now versus the long-term.

The mind is what gathers facts about a situation and calculates consequence to each potential decision. I believe that the entity that weighs most the consequences of decisions should have the greatest say in the decision itself. The mind should be the final say in 90% of your decisions. Choosing whom to marry, what career to follow and how, what faith to abide … all must be measured, considered, and sometimes tested, with knowledge, understanding and reason.

And yet, I advocate fully listening to your heart. The heart in all her intuitive sensitivity is a metric never to be ignored. The heart senses a great many things, and is a reflection of many things inside of you cannot always consciously consider. The heart’s input is valuable, and should never be ignored. Find the perfect man but have no love in your heart for him? A career suited for your skills but bear no passion for it? Do extracurricular activities but find no real joy in it? You’re leading half a life. You’re surviving, getting through. I don’t advocate mere survival in a day and age when we are most free to pursue those passions of our hearts! The indefinable yearnings of our soul!

But when it comes to making decisions, however much the heart is considered, the mind still must dominate the finality of each decision.

Suppose I met a girl about whom I found nothing logically special but my heart leapt every time I saw her. I would say the heart’s input outweighs most of the logic! However, I should still look at her and ask myself important questions: While possibly unremarkable in most logical senses, is there anything I should be careful about? A propensity for drama? Is she fickle? Might she use me? Do we share the same faith or goals in life?

If the answers to these questions satisfy the mind, the mind should then give the heart reign to push for that lovely lady (or dude, if you’re a girl, you know, whatever)! But if it catches a red flag, then the passions of the heart will likely only lead to sorrows, many which might be more than even the hope of a relationship was worth.

Myself, I’ve come to be very attracted to a friend of mine, but we diverge on the most important of beliefs. There’s nothing romantic about raising children with someone you fight with day-in and day-out. There’s nothing sweet and charming about letting your heart lead you into a situation you do not belong. And knowing who you are and who they are enough to say no early in doesn’t deprive you of life unspent, namely because the quality of your life should never been measured down because you are alone. It should be measured to as wonderful a measure you can make it, until you reach that point in your life when you meet the person for whom your mind and heart agree without waver is worth fighting.

You don’t miss out on life because of wise decisions. You merely make room for more wise decisions, less drama, and a cleaner lifestyle that, believe you me, is worth so very much in the midst of life’s never-ending change.